As I write this update, I’m officially 24 weeks and 2 days preggo!!! Sit back with your favorite cup of tea or a nice snack because I have LOTS to say in this update! When I started this blog in January of 2016, I delved into it full force and absolutely loved writing about topics that I’m so passionate about such as health, wellness, and natural beauty. I had so many short term and long term goals for this blog and I couldn’t wait to see what I could make of it and what I could offer all of you.
Then I got pregnant….. And as incredibly excited and appreciative I am each and every day for this amazing life-form that’s currently growing inside of me, I also never expected the overall shift that would occur in my life just from pregnancy alone. Of course, my whole life is bound to change AFTER the birth of my child, but I never imagined how depleted I would feel throughout this whole 9 month long process. I’ve always been a woman who cherishes my alone time, as well as all of my hobbies. I’m one of those people who can honestly say that no matter how little or how much time I have on my hands, I’m truly never, ever bored!
At five weeks pregnant, the anxiety and ever-constant nausea kicked in full force, which I talked about in my first pregnancy update here. and here. Then, at 8 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER due to heavy bleeding from a subchorionic hematoma and was immediately placed on bed rest for nearly two months. There are few things worse for a person’s overall mental health than being bed-ridden for such a long period of time, during which I wasn’t allowed to do anything except worry about potentially losing my baby. Some doctors prescribe bed rest for a subchorionic hematoma, but there’s actually no evidence that bed rest really does much of anything to help one’s body heal. So, all in all, I did it as a precaution, but will never know if it played much of a role, other than driving me insane and putting my entire life on hold. Time literally stood still like it never has for me before. I nearly felt every second of every 24 hour period and I could feel my life-long struggle with clinical depression seeping back into me and taking over with each day that passed. I had to have weekly ultrasounds to ensure that the hematoma was decreasing in size until I was allowed off of bed rest at around 14 weeks.
I thought that once I was off of bed rest, I would be able to get back into the swing of things and fight off the anxiety and depression that had firmly gripped my core, once again. My usual steps toward balancing myself out typically involves getting outside with sunshine every day, sleeping soundly for 8 solid hours, doing daily workouts (so, so important), staying hydrated, having a purpose every day, working towards something bigger than myself, and focusing on positive outlets such as hobbies that make me feel good. The problem was that even though I’m a trained Mental Health professional and I know in my bones what I need to do in order to help myself, actually doing all of these things seemed utterly impossible.
At 14 weeks pregnant, my chronic migraines kicked in full force, on top of the nausea that didn’t go away after the first trimester ended (lucky me…). Then, at 15 weeks pregnant, a day after I finally did ONE Prenatal Yoga workout, my growing uterus started putting a lot of pressure on my pelvis that felt like I’m literally being stabbed every time I take a single, solitary step. 9 weeks later, my pelvic pain, which is typically under the umbrella of Round Ligament Pain, due to the pregnancy hormone Relaxin making my pelvis uber stretchy in preparation for birth. This has the side effect of pain that typically comes and goes for most women (some women don’t feel anything at all, lucky them!). My pelvic pain, however, is constant, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep at night and every time I toss and turn in my sleep, I wake myself up from the stabbing sensations of simply moving my own body from left to right in bed. This variation is called SPD, Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, which essentially is a severe form of Round Ligament Pain that never goes away until after the baby is born (hopefully). On top of the chronic pain in my pelvis, my migraines/daily headaches, I also have sciatica from the weight of the baby, as well. When I say every part of me hurts, I truly mean it. Every day I wonder how it could really be this difficult if my own body is designed to make babies!
This was a very long-winded way of explaining that pregnancy has been quite a journey, filled with lots and lots of unexpected hurdles and crazy symptoms. I never, ever imagined that pregnancy would not only be physically demanding, but also emotionally and psychologically taxing. There are so many physical shifts that occur each and every day. Along with these shifts, hormonal fluctuations take center stage and our hormones are actually at the heart of our mental health and overall well-being. Creating an actual live being over the course of 9 months is some serious work! American culture views pregnancy as something a female’s body is designed to do, therefore, a woman’s complaints or struggles while pregnant are typically brushed aside. It’s something that other people struggle to empathize with, especially if people have never gone through it themselves or if they were pregnant at one point and happened to have a relatively easy pregnancy.
I’ve been taking one day at a time, wishing that there was a way to make time go faster so that I can be productive again. I’ve been holding off on doing a blog post update so that I wouldn’t release any of my negativity out into the universe. But, at the same time, I feel that my experience has a place in the world because I don’t want any other woman to feel alone or isolated who may also be having a rough pregnancy. Despite all of these ongoing symptoms and the fact that I’ve virtually cut myself off from friends, family, and the world at large in order to cope with these changes, I truly do love the growing baby that’s inside of me and I absolutely can’t wait to meet this wonderful being.
Which brings me to my next exciting announcement: the baby’s GENDER REVEAL!!! My husband and I actually found out rather early at about 13 weeks what the baby’s gender is when we did the NIPT bloodtest, which stands for Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing. The NIPT tests for potential chromosomal abnormalities, as well as determining the baby’s gender with 99% accuracy.
The results of the NIPT were confirmed during the much anticipated 20 week Anatomy Scan, which showed the necessary “boy parts” to confirm that our baby is most definitely a little BOY!!! I was almost positive it was a girl due to how sick I was, but I quickly embraced the fact that it’s actually a boy, after all. That just means I’ll probably be even sicker if I do have a girl in the future, ha ha! My husband admitted that he’s excited that it’s a boy, although he wouldn’t have been disappointed if it was a girl, either. I can’t wait to see my husband in full “Dad mode” because I know without a doubt in my mind that he’s going to be an absolutely wonderful father. He’s not the type of man who wants to have kids just to have kids… Meaning he wants to be a strong presence in the life of his child and be very actively engaged with his child throughout every experience. Many fathers feel that their role is to provide for their family and they leave everything else to the mother. I’ve always been someone who questions the way that things are and it was always important for me to be with a life-long partner who questioned the same things. We want to help raise a child who will hopefully make the world a better place and our view of parenthood involves not only loving the child unconditionally, but also teaching the child to be the best version of himself. Although we have many idealistic goals for our future life as a family, we ultimately hope that our baby will be healthy and happy!
I have so many blog posts that I should have written and finished months ago and I really appreciate that companies who have sent me products for my honest review have been so understanding. My first post, which will be up in the next day or so is for my experience with Lotus Wei’s Flower Essences for overall Health and Wellness. I’m so excited to share my experiences with you all using four products from this very well-known brand in the Green and Wellness community!
I can’t thank you all enough for the kindness and support you’ve given me these last few months! It means so much to me that people from all over the world continue to check back on my blog even after I’ve been absent for nearly three whole months. And I love getting your messages on Instagram!
I hope you all have been enjoying your summers with love and light! I plan to be back full swing as of this week and I can’t wait to reconnect with you all!
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